Some thoughts

I was listening song by FFH called "On my cross" and it really touched me.
Lately my life has been really messed up. I say  I am christian but it doesen't seem so. All drinkings and relations I have. And  I want to be youth leader.  I can't be a role model with that kind of attitude what   I have right now. If people knew what life I'm living they would be really suprised. It don't look like me.

So I was listening trough my videos on orkut.com and there was that song "On My Cross". I like to listen songs when I have lyrics with me too so  I searched them and that song just talked to me. If you are interested then you can search them by yourself.

Anyway I started to think who am I. Why Jesus died for me when He knew that I will sin again. Why would He love me so much that He went somewhere were I should have gone. He had nails in his arms because of me. I don't deserve that love He has for me. Why He still trust in me and have His hopes on me?

He don't give up on me why should I? He sees my heart so I believe He sees somethign more what I can see. Today in the morning I was totally depressed. I wanted to broke all mirrors I have because I didn't like myself. I was so depressed that I didn't say good things even to my very dear friend. And after that song everything changed. He sees me perfect as I am. He sees deepest in my heart. He sees what others can't see. He sees all hurt I have and all love I have. He sees everything. We can't hide anything from Him. He is still waiting there. He don't take our fears and pain when we don't give it to Him. He is waiting us to take the step.

He died for us because He loved us and because He sees what we are worth.

Help!!!

I really need all your prayers! I have so much to do in school. Basically  whole year with 1-2 weeks.  I can't do it all alone. I need God's supernatural help for that and every prayer you can send to Daddy for me ;) Thank you so much.

Ma tõesti vajan teie kõigi palveid! Mul on nii palju koolsi teha. Põhimõtteliselt terve aasta 1-2 nädalaga. Ma ei suuda seda üksi. Ma vajan Jumala üleloomulikku abi ja teie igat palvet mis te võite saata Issile minu eest. Suured suured tänud!

Wonderful God.

 Jumal on ikka nii imeline. Veetsin nädal aega grupiga Rootsi piiblikoolist. Elasin nendega nädal aega Pääste Armees ja nägin seda suurt ühtsust, armastust ja hoolivust. Nägin ja tundsin kuidas Jumal liikus, kuidas ta puudutas noori.
Jumal ei otsi neid kes on südamelt puhtad. Ta ei otsi neid kes on täiuslikud. Ta otsib neid kes on valmis teda teenima. Oled sa valmis? Sa ei pea saama enne kõigest vabaks. Sa pead lihtsalt tahtma anda oma südame talle.
Ta on armastav issi. Ta ootab sind. Ootab, et sina astuksid esimese sammu lähemale talle. Kui sa astud lähemalt talle sammukene ja tundub, et kõik on aian raskem siis tea, tema astub kaks sammu lähemale sulle. Ära anna alla vaid mine edasi ja sa näed tulemusi!

Muide, 24.juuni kuni 3 juuli olen ma norra grupiga koos. Võru misjonipäevade raames ja hiljem meto noortelaagris. Nii tõlgiks kui ka noortelaagris ILMSELT draama workshopi juht. Oeh ma nii ootan. Saan huvitav aeg olema. Enne aga pean saama kooliga kõik korda, seega palvetage mu eest jätkuvalt. Ma vajan seda (:
Aitäh. Kalli-kalli


God is so wonderful.I spent one week with a group from one Swedish Bible school. I lived with them in Salvation Army a week and I saw that great unity, love and caring what they had for others. I saw and felt how God was moving and touching youths.
God don't look those who are clean in their hearts. He don't look perfect people. He is looking those who are ready to serve Him. Are you ready? You don't have to clean your heart first. You just have to give everythign to Him.
He is loving daddy and he is waiting you. Waiting for you to take first step closer to Him. If take that step and everything still seems so hard then know  that when you take one step closer to Him, He takes two steps closer to you. Don't give up, go forward and you will see results.

By the way from 24th of June to 4th of July  i will be with group from Norway in mission days in Võru and later in methodists youth camp. Will be translating there and PROBABLY i will be drama workshop leader in camp.I'm sooooo waiting it. It will be interesting time. But first I need to get finished everythign with my school, so I still need your prayer.

Thank you and much hugs and kisses!

Almost saved

I was just watching http://www.p4cm.com And there was one man talking about almost saved. That made me think that we never know who really is saved. They can say: "God bless you brother" but never mean what are they asking. They may ask: "Dear sister, do you have any prayer requests?" but never pray. Guys when you are almost saved it's like you mean ok I will give my life to Lord at 10 but then you die at 9. Almost Chsitian is only on a outside christian, a sunday christian. You can't be almost saved. Are you willing to send your children to a school what is almost safe? Or girls, will you date a guy who is almost straight? God didn't almost gave His life for you, He don't love you almost. He totally loves you and He sure gave His life for you. So make your choise to be saved almost or most saved?
God's love is filling all wholes in your heart even if you have lived totally wrong or almost right. He's love is there to help you up. He is there to love you most. You can't fine that kind of love nowhere else. He's love isn't almost love. With him you can't be almost loved!
Don't think about what you've done or haven't done. Forget all almost right choises. You are worthy God's love. I'm not talking about almost worthy but fully  worthy.

Time to have more of God

Hey everyone.
I just wanted to say that this year is to have more of God. We have to get our relations with God stronger than ever before. God has spoken to many people that same thing. And so many of my friends feel in their hearts that it's time to get closer with Him. It really is year to built our foundations stong. We are living in ending times and only thing or only person we can depend on is Jesus. When we have out of strengh then He is out strengh. We have to get that base we have, that fundament stong.
That's all I wanted to say for now. Just pray more, seek God more, talk to Him more. Let Him talk to you more than ever before. Let Him hold you more, care for you more. Just seek Him more and more everyday.
Many blessings and hugs.

"Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers

I'm reading a book called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. One of the best book I have ever read.At the end Francine wrote why she wrote that book and how she came to that place to write it. It talkes about God's love to us. That whatever we do His love is unconditional, forgiving, uncganging, everlasting, self-sacrificing. He don't care how much we have sinned, He cares about our heart. All people are looking that kind of love in tle life but only place they can find it is  before God. He still loves us even when we have done bad things or stuff what makes people hate us. Even when we turn our back to Him, He is still there for us. We just have to trust Him and believe in Him. He believes in us. That we will make it or that. He is always waiting us to go and talk with Him. Always waiting to get hug us and hold us and just comfort us. Sometimes we don't have enough faith or strength then we have Hid strenght, we may not have enough joy then we can have His joy maybe we don't have enough love - we can have His love. He loves us more than you can ever imagine.

Beauty of the world

I just wrote down some thoughts one day at school and I wanted to share them with you guys. So here they are.

Even when everything seems dark then somewhere is the beauty of the life. We may think that everything is bad and we get depressed. We don't want to see the good of the life. There is so much around us. At the day time we can see sun up high to shine and warm. Even when it's raining we can be happy because then the Earth can be watered and after the rain we usually see the rainbow. Seven beautiful colors to be a jewellery in the sky. At night there is stars and moon to light us the way. Stars to shine. It's so amazing like black paper with lots of white dots. And same is with the moon - big jewellery to shine. Sometimes we just don't see all that beauty of the sky. Especially when we are feeling down.
In the forests we can see green trees and hear the song of birds. There is berrys we can eat and mushrooms. Lots of animals. Some of them are really pretty. Like fox with his beautiful orange-red coat and cute tail. All those small cute squirrells. Even wolfs look beautiful. And those big bears. They just are so cute and seem so soft. At fall everywhere is colorful leaves. All those red and orange and yellow colors. Its like big paint what God has done.
When it's snowing then all nature is sparkling and shining. Yeah ofcourse it's cold and freezing but still I think it's one most beautiful thing in the world.
So what I want to say is that whatever you have in your life right now, whatever you are going through it doesen't matter. It may seem the worse thing in your life at the moment but at the same time there is so many good things in your life around you. So just open your eyes too see it. You will imagine how wonderful everything is. Don't be sad, don't cry just open your eyes and look around. All those flowers and animals, fairies (yeah I said fairies) and trees, snow and rainbow and so on and so on.

You know guys I have though that in the world there is so many interesting people and we have no idea that they exist. Sometimes we are too afraid to meet new people or our family don't want us to communicate to some people. Why? They are maybe so afraid that their little children may chgange or just dissapear. I often get to know new people. A lot in internet but also in real life. Really amazing people when you get to know them. Some days ago I wrote to one girl from ummmh America I think, just to recommend one film and we started to talk. I have read her blog for sometime already and she wrotes really good stuff according to Bible. And she is only 15.!.!. Well not always I personally agree with everything but she really is into that stuff and she really knows what she is writing about. I can see how God is using her in powerful ways to change situations.
Well those were some of my thoughts for this time so I hope you liked! Much hugs (who don't know then I wrote much there because much is used for uncountable things like water or sugar and much hugs because then there is so many hugs that you can't count them anymore). So again much hugs and be very overflowingly (I know it's not correct word but I like to use it) blessed!