It's been a while when I had my last post in here. I have had busy summer. Most of the time with my boyfriend and travelling between school, home and boyfriend's place. We had our ups and downs even had time to break up ans seriously break up it was worst time in my life. I was able to give up and I almost did it when one point his brother, who has always been against all his relations told me that he will do everything to help us to get back together and he was one who told me not to give up who told me to fight. I don't know if I would have made it without him. During this relation I have seen how people can change. I have seen myself changing and my boyfriend changing. Is it love? I guess so. Things he never wanted. Like he has always been against marriage and always said he doesn't want to have children and now suddenly we talk about getting married and kids in the future. Not in the close future but in future sometime. We talk about house, about living together about everything. He is person whom I trust 100%. I tell him everything. Even if it sometimes hurts him but I can't hide or lie to him. I believe that having strong relationship includes total trust between two people. I still do have my moments when I think if he is the one but we never know what future brings, we never know what our heart does but at the moment I love him with every smallest part of my life.
I have always thought and still think that we don't have that right to tell anyone, even to our partners to whom they can or can't talk to or with who they can be friends and with who they can't. We don't have that right. But when he is friend with some people, it makes me insecure. Like one girl who is one of his dearest friends. I don't like her. I don't know why. It's just she protects him no matter what. I do understand it but still it hurts. Like I know I will hurt him sooner or later but not with purpose. I love him with everything. It's just annoying. I mean it's difficult. I do understand her. She wants to protect someone who is dear to her. I would do same. But saying that I'm not allowed to try again with him made me stop liking her. I don't like him chatting with old girlfriends or something but I don't have right to tell him not to communicate with them. I mean I know he loves me. He wouldn't be with me if he wouldn't love me because no guys wont be with anyone, especially with someone who is fat when others are always mocking him because of that. If he wouldn't love me, he would leave me but he does love me. And that is why I love him so much. I love him more than my life. I love him because how he makes me feel. I love him because he is there for me, he believes in me and he wants me. I love him just because. I just love him!
