19 June 2014

Part of my life

So much has happened lately. I went to church on Sunday over the long time. I was actually really waiting for it. In one church I was translating and other one, well I was just waiting it and it was really good. God said to me: "All you need is me. You are not ready for anything else. I have seen your pain, your suffering. You are not ready for love yet but I have best for you. I have best plans for you and best husband for you. Trust me, lean on me, be in my presence and stay in my arms. When you are ready, I will show my plans for you! It can be week, it can be month or year. I know when you are ready. Trust in me!" Lot is happening. I've realized that all I actually do need is God. He has the very best for me. It's nit easy but it's truth. I love him so much. Someone asked me today how can I believe in something what sounds such a crap. But I have my own reasons to believe and I do believe it is true. I might not always do well or do good but I know where is my heart and it is what matters. 
But being with some friends I've felt that I'm falling in love again. I don't want to and anyway even if I do, i wont do anything for that. He is there for me and he is very special to my heart but that's all. I may have feelings for him but that's all. Even if he seems perfect. I don't expect anything. :) 

Third news would be that I got my driving licence. Whooop whoop. Happy girl. I feel different now. Feel like more grown up. Fee like I am moving forward. 

Now school is ending and I'm making my graduation dress. I love it. Fabrics are on that picture here too :).  It's kind of like my dream dress for last 2 years. I love it so much and can't wait to finish it and wear it already. It will be my most important graduation. 7 years of high school will be over. Finally!!!! Woohoohohoooohoh. I still need to defense my final work and I will be done! 
In the middle of that all it doesn't mean I have forgotten all that love I have had for someone. No. But when he blocked me on facebook right after he promised to be there for me, I decided that I don't need him. I don't need anyone who doesn't appreciate me as I am. So I don't care. But I hope he will be happy. I do wish all the best for him and if he couldn't be happy with me what makes me more sad you guys can imagine, then I hope he will be happy with someone else. :) I do love him deeply with every small part of me but most important is that he is happy and I know I will be happy one day too :)
What would you do, if someone who should be one of the most important person in your life, someone without who you wouldn't exist  someone who has always been there for you, supported you, helped you one day tells you that you are reason for most of their problems? I understand if it happens when they are angry with you or something but out of nowhere... Well I forgive but this person will never be the same for me again. Now I have only one true father and it is my Heavenly Father who loves us unconditionally :)
Anyway hugs and kisses to you all. I'm off to bed!