Some thoughts

I was listening song by FFH called "On my cross" and it really touched me.
Lately my life has been really messed up. I say  I am christian but it doesen't seem so. All drinkings and relations I have. And  I want to be youth leader.  I can't be a role model with that kind of attitude what   I have right now. If people knew what life I'm living they would be really suprised. It don't look like me.

So I was listening trough my videos on orkut.com and there was that song "On My Cross". I like to listen songs when I have lyrics with me too so  I searched them and that song just talked to me. If you are interested then you can search them by yourself.

Anyway I started to think who am I. Why Jesus died for me when He knew that I will sin again. Why would He love me so much that He went somewhere were I should have gone. He had nails in his arms because of me. I don't deserve that love He has for me. Why He still trust in me and have His hopes on me?

He don't give up on me why should I? He sees my heart so I believe He sees somethign more what I can see. Today in the morning I was totally depressed. I wanted to broke all mirrors I have because I didn't like myself. I was so depressed that I didn't say good things even to my very dear friend. And after that song everything changed. He sees me perfect as I am. He sees deepest in my heart. He sees what others can't see. He sees all hurt I have and all love I have. He sees everything. We can't hide anything from Him. He is still waiting there. He don't take our fears and pain when we don't give it to Him. He is waiting us to take the step.

He died for us because He loved us and because He sees what we are worth.

Help!!!

I really need all your prayers! I have so much to do in school. Basically  whole year with 1-2 weeks.  I can't do it all alone. I need God's supernatural help for that and every prayer you can send to Daddy for me ;) Thank you so much.

Ma tõesti vajan teie kõigi palveid! Mul on nii palju koolsi teha. Põhimõtteliselt terve aasta 1-2 nädalaga. Ma ei suuda seda üksi. Ma vajan Jumala üleloomulikku abi ja teie igat palvet mis te võite saata Issile minu eest. Suured suured tänud!

Wonderful God.

 Jumal on ikka nii imeline. Veetsin nädal aega grupiga Rootsi piiblikoolist. Elasin nendega nädal aega Pääste Armees ja nägin seda suurt ühtsust, armastust ja hoolivust. Nägin ja tundsin kuidas Jumal liikus, kuidas ta puudutas noori.
Jumal ei otsi neid kes on südamelt puhtad. Ta ei otsi neid kes on täiuslikud. Ta otsib neid kes on valmis teda teenima. Oled sa valmis? Sa ei pea saama enne kõigest vabaks. Sa pead lihtsalt tahtma anda oma südame talle.
Ta on armastav issi. Ta ootab sind. Ootab, et sina astuksid esimese sammu lähemale talle. Kui sa astud lähemalt talle sammukene ja tundub, et kõik on aian raskem siis tea, tema astub kaks sammu lähemale sulle. Ära anna alla vaid mine edasi ja sa näed tulemusi!

Muide, 24.juuni kuni 3 juuli olen ma norra grupiga koos. Võru misjonipäevade raames ja hiljem meto noortelaagris. Nii tõlgiks kui ka noortelaagris ILMSELT draama workshopi juht. Oeh ma nii ootan. Saan huvitav aeg olema. Enne aga pean saama kooliga kõik korda, seega palvetage mu eest jätkuvalt. Ma vajan seda (:
Aitäh. Kalli-kalli


God is so wonderful.I spent one week with a group from one Swedish Bible school. I lived with them in Salvation Army a week and I saw that great unity, love and caring what they had for others. I saw and felt how God was moving and touching youths.
God don't look those who are clean in their hearts. He don't look perfect people. He is looking those who are ready to serve Him. Are you ready? You don't have to clean your heart first. You just have to give everythign to Him.
He is loving daddy and he is waiting you. Waiting for you to take first step closer to Him. If take that step and everything still seems so hard then know  that when you take one step closer to Him, He takes two steps closer to you. Don't give up, go forward and you will see results.

By the way from 24th of June to 4th of July  i will be with group from Norway in mission days in Võru and later in methodists youth camp. Will be translating there and PROBABLY i will be drama workshop leader in camp.I'm sooooo waiting it. It will be interesting time. But first I need to get finished everythign with my school, so I still need your prayer.

Thank you and much hugs and kisses!