04 June 2013
Sun is behind the clouds
I don't use facebook at the moment. Not sure how long I can manage without facebook but at the moment I can. So I deactivated it for unknown time. But I really want to write something out as I used to share everything in facebook. True not so many are reading my blog but still. I don't do it for others but for myself. Anyway last nights I have't got any sleep. I fall a sleep between 2 and 8am and then sleep for 3-5 hours so for last 4 nights I've had only about 9-10 hours sleep. For me it's normal to sleep so much in one night. I guess it's just I'm so stressed out lately. Lot to do in school because I want to finish on time this year. And then I have problems in my relationship. I have been so moody and jealous and not understanding lately that I guess my boyfriend just had enough. I'm not 100 % sure if it is over we will see on 6th when he gets out from military. I guess it is main reason why I'm not able to sleep. He don't answer to anything and for me it's very very difficult not to hear from him. It's never happened before that I can't sleep. I mean I have had problems even bigger one than now and break ups before too but never had problems with my sleep. Or do I have problems because I really believed it's true this time? That he is the one and I was sure about it? I don't know. I'm just waiting 2 more days and then I can talk to him. If he wants to. I just need to talk to him or soon I will collapse. Emotionally and physically. Today 2 teachers asked if I'm feeling well and am I sick because I look pale. Oh well 2 more days. I hope that then everything will be ok again. Really hope and pray.
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