Love deeper than oceans

I never thought I will love like I do. Looking back in past years I see now how I have been acting what I've done wrong and what I would do differently. I love someone so much that I would give everything for him. I've never felt love like that. I would be ready to give up all my dreams and plans just for him. I would be ready to give up all travelling I want to do just to spent time with him. I never really wanted or expected kids but I would raise football team if he would love to. I would give up my life for him. He is most important person in my life. It is kind of love I want to feel from someone. I want to feel someone loving me longer than time would last and with passion more deep than oceans. I want to feel and give love what is longer than to the moon and back. I want to feel needed as much or even more than night needs stars and fish need water. I want someone to be willing to give everything for me.

Relationships

I thought other day why I have had so many relations. Around 6-ish. I have had discussions with many people. And so often those who are slimmer and thinner they have had like 1-3 relation at my age. Then I was thinking why I or so many bigger girls have so many relations. I can't talk about others but what I thought was that it's because we need to feel wanted somehow. Need to feel beautiful. If you have boyfriend then no one can say that you are so fat that can't even get a boyfriend. It feels like you always need to prove yourself. Prove that you can have "normal" life, can have boyfriends, that people can look at you and think like you are normal girl. Having boyfriend gives confident. You feel like at least someone wants you, someone loves you, someone thinks you are beautiful :) I know it's wrong and shouldn't be like that but it is. I know I am pretty but still.