Some words over long time

Nothing and no one can make us happy if we don't choose to be happy. If we don't take risks and try we won't achieve anything. Do we have enough strength to take risks and try things. What if they don't work out? But what if they do? What it those risks are our only chances to be truly happy? What if those risks are only right choices to make? Why not to take the risk and try? We are always afraid to lose people who are important to us. It's so much safer to continue as things are. Not to take risks. Give up? Not always you can say it's giving up. It needs strength as well. Sometimes we need time. More time. Maybe not days or weeks or months. Sometimes even year is not enough. Sometime we might need five or ten or even fifty years, who knows. But when we keep strong, keep going and keep moving we will get where we need to be.

Some weeks ago when I was visiting southern Estonia we did some make up and took some photos with my amazing, beautiful friend C, her sister and my little sister. Couple days earlier I did similar make up alone in Tallinn because I was bored and wanted to do something different and something interesting. My pictures you can check at my photoblog http://monzafotoblogi.blogspot.com

This week has been crazy. Like seriously. I have been depressed. Classmates have seen it. I was in school only for short time and even then I were just there with my earphones on listening music. I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to meet anyone, didn't want to answer to any questions. Luckily I'm feeling better now.
Only thing what helped me keep going was art. I finished couple drawings. One drawing was about one very very special friend of mine. I started drawing him months ago. Probably in spring when I was still in Räpina. Now I finished and his words made me happy. Seriously happy. He said he is lightly speechless. It's some of the best words he has ever said. Of course there has been others too. Like he doesn't want to lose one important person in his life - me. But anyway... Other drawing I had been doing over a year. I enjoy how it came out. I love it. Even though many people told that I am christian, how can I post or draw something like that. But I don't know. I love it. It talks so much. It has so many feelings and it is great work (except one hand I hate how it came out but I just wasn't able to fix it... )

 Today J came to visit. I have been busy in school he has been busy at work. Now we finally had time to meet. We had some wassail, made some gingerbread cookies, looked old pictures and just chatted. It was so nice to have J here again. I've missed so much our vine evenings.