22 January 2013

You are beautiful

First I must say that this title to that post came because lately I need to remind to myself very often that I am beautiful. I am depressed and stressed out. So freaking much to do in school, my boyfriend is in military and I got to see him only once a week and now probably not before when he comes out so that makes me extra stressed... depressed. He reason why I want to get up and go forward with one more day. But it's ok I must get through I just don't have any other choice. I've never wanted to be skinny but now, lately I wish I was. For once I want to be slim and light to lift and that all my clothes would fit perfectly and that I shouldn't worry so much how I look. I know people love me for who I am and my boyfriend does but why can't I? I'm so tired of smiling and pretending that everything is ok. Pretending that I'm happy with who I am. But I don't have other choice. Ofc there is always possible to change but I know that  I myself don't have so much strength or self-discipline to change myself. I just can't help it. So anyway it's that somethign few I just thought I want to write out from myself if I can say it so.  
Love you all. Hugs and kisses

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